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Need Prayers for my Grandma and our Family

Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
JaeOnasi
Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
Posted On: 06/07/2014 at 10:32 PM
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I learned today that my Grandma Thelma had a stroke this morning. She's apparently pretty impaired on her right side and she can't speak right now, which is driving her up a wall. She's about 5 days shy of turning 88, so she's up there in years. She's aware and all that, but her health is pretty poor in general, so we're not 100% sure she'll make it.

She lives in Arkansas about a 2 day drive from me, and I just wish I could magically be there to help her. If she makes it, I'm going to work on moving her up to the rehab hospital where my hubby works, and then try to get her to move in with me, since we have an extra bedroom. The question will be if she'll be too stubborn about it. This morning, when she called her friend, her friend heard her slurring her speech and drove right over. My grandma refused to let her call an ambulance, and when her friend said "I'm taking you to the emergency room," my grandma insisted on taking the dog to the back yard to go potty first. THEN she agreed to get in the car and go. That's so grandma.

Not surprisingly, in situations like this, everyone's emotions are raw, and I'm already hearing some of the family interpersonal relationship issues bubbling up. It might make a fascinating Dr. Phil episode.  Anyway, just say a prayer or think positive thoughts for my grandma and for our whole family. I love her, and I don't want her to go, but she's ready to go to heaven and be with my grandpa again if it is her time.

 

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Ban Fili de na Ulchabhan Dearg
Izzy
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Replied On: 06/08/2014 at 02:25 AM PDT
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Sending prayers for your grandma and the rest of your family.

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Bandraoi de na Iolair Dearg
Briseadh
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Replied On: 06/08/2014 at 04:45 AM PDT
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Praying for your grandma and your family to be able to sort out the best thing to do for her while she is still with you.

Don't mess with Mama Bear, I might hug you too tight. =D
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Curadh de na Fhiaigh
Kennethan
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Replied On: 06/08/2014 at 08:00 AM PDT
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My prayers to your grandma and you and your whole family during this time. 

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Curadh de na Capall
Tuz
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Replied On: 06/08/2014 at 09:23 AM PDT
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My thoughts and prayers are with you, your grandma and your whole family at this time.

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Finsceal de na Iomproidh
Zudrot
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Replied On: 06/08/2014 at 01:59 PM PDT

Sending some prayers and positive waves your way.

 

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Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
JaeOnasi
Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
Replied On: 06/08/2014 at 09:16 PM PDT
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Thanks all. So far, she's made it through the tough first day. She's paralyzed on the right side and can't talk at all, but her ability to understand is just fine. The staff brought her in a communication tool, which has helped reduce some of her frustration at not being able to talk. The amount of brain damage that she had showing on the MRI was substantial, so the overall prognosis at her age naturally is not great.

The irony is that we were going down to see her in a few more weeks to visit and vacation in the area. It's quite the change for sure. We're kind of leaving that on the books for now in case we have to move her from stroke rehab to our home or a care facility by us. I don't want her to be far away from us with no one close by keeping an eye on the facility.

Emotions are riding very high in the rest of the family, too, and some of it's not taking a healthy tack. That's not unexpected during high stress times like this, but it's an extra challenge I'm not looking forward to dealing with. As Bones would say, "Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a diplomat!"

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Ban Fine de na Capall
Ketou
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Replied On: 06/10/2014 at 12:14 PM PDT

Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

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Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
JaeOnasi
Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
Replied On: 06/11/2014 at 06:49 PM PDT
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Thanks all!

It looked pretty bad over the weekend, and she couldn't speak at all or move her right side. Yesterday, she improved quite a bit and started moving some on her right side. Today, the therapists got her up, and she walked 20 steps with help. The turnaround is quite amazing.

We keep praying!

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Draoi de na Aracos Bán
Oldgoat
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Replied On: 06/13/2014 at 10:12 PM PDT

I have seen some amazing things happen with friends who've had strokes.  They know what they're doing by getting her moving as soon as possible.  Sounds like they've got her on the way to recovering as much as she can.  Glad to hear it.  You're in our thoughts. 

 

 

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Ban Caomhnoir de na Ulchabhan
DaisyLou
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Replied On: 06/14/2014 at 07:36 AM PDT

I will keep your Grandma in my prayers. So good to hear about the improvements she has made!

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Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
JaeOnasi
Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
Replied On: 06/14/2014 at 08:12 PM PDT
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Thank you! They moved her to a rehab center that is specifically for people who've had strokes, and I've heard it's very good. Once she finishes that, she'll either move up to IL (she's in AR right now) and live near my aunt and dad, or she'll come to live with my family and me. I've been telling her the last few years that she always has a home with me, so I hope she finally accepts, but she's quite stubborn about living on her own. Still, she'll need to be in assisted living the rest of her life, and I hate to see her spend her money on a facility when she could spend it on something more enjoyable for herself instead. She worked hard for it and should have the chance to enjoy it!

Thank you all for the prayers, warm thoughts and kind words--I told her many, many people were thinking warm thoughts and praying for her, and I know they have helped her immensely. She's kind of tickled that people all over the world have been thinking of her. :)

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Saighdiuir de na Iomproidh
Llew
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Replied On: 06/15/2014 at 07:15 AM PDT

Glad to hear she's improved, Jae!

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Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
JaeOnasi
Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
Replied On: 06/28/2014 at 08:51 PM PDT
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Well, I don't have good news tonight. :'(

My grandma was recovering in a center for stroke rehabilitation, and was improving day by day. However, today she came down with pneumonia, and her heart, which was very bad, gave out. She did not want heroic measures taken since she knew she was in very poor health even before the stroke. She passed away peacefully a little while ago at the age of 88.

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Ban Fili de na Ulchabhan Dearg
Izzy
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Replied On: 06/28/2014 at 09:02 PM PDT
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*hugs* I'm very sorry.

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Ban Seaimpin de na Fhiaigh
Cetacea
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Replied On: 06/29/2014 at 04:06 AM PDT
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I'm so very sorry. *hugs*

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Banlaoch de na Ulchabhan Bán
Kitty
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Replied On: 06/29/2014 at 05:07 AM PDT
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I'm very sorry for your loss... :(

"Be the player you want to meet".- Foghladha
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Ban Seaimpin de na Ulchabhan
Isha
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Replied On: 06/29/2014 at 07:45 AM PDT
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My heart goes out to you!  I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Curadh de na Capall
Tuz
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Replied On: 06/29/2014 at 08:00 AM PDT
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 I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Rhynor
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Replied On: 06/29/2014 at 07:06 PM PDT
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So sorry for your loss Jae. Thinking of you.

Not all those who wander are lost ~ JRR Tolkien
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Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
JaeOnasi
Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
Replied On: 07/17/2014 at 05:34 PM PDT
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Thanks everyone. The memorial is tomorrow morning, and I am giving one of the tribute speeches. I'm trying to decide what to say-the challenge is to keep it from going way too long.

All your prayers and warm wishes mean so much to me. I had told her before she passed away that people from all over the world were thinking of her and praying, and she had said for me to thank you all. 

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Ban Finsceal de na Iolair
Morigana
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Replied On: 07/17/2014 at 05:51 PM PDT

I have complete empathy for you Jae...

I have never been able to speak at any of my relatives or close friends memorials - I cry way too much.  I can barely blurt out one of my favorite quotes - which is really short before the tears start gushing and I choke up...

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."  Robert Benchley

... and I can usually say "They will always be in my heart" before I have to go sit back down...

Just remember if you need her, she will be with you - just talk to her and answers will come.

Be well.

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Ban Curadh de na Faolchu Donn
Ezsme
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Replied On: 07/18/2014 at 05:22 AM PDT

I am very sorry for your loss.  I will pray for you and your family and the easing of your heartache during this time.

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Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
JaeOnasi
Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
Replied On: 07/22/2014 at 11:49 AM PDT
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Thank you. :)

The words did come, happily, and I think I did her memory honor and justice. I quoted the prayer by St. Francis of Assisi, which is the embodiment of 'faith through our actions'. The prayer was quite the good description of how she showed love for family and friends--through her actions. There were about 20 people at the service, which was very good since she was 88 and nearly all her friends and other family besides us kids/grandkids had passed on before her. We sang 'How Great Thou Art' and my brother-in-law delivered a very nice sermon based on John Donne's poem "Death Be Not Proud".

The luncheon afterwards was very nice, and I had the opportunity to chat more with her out-of-town cousins that I've only been able to meet once before briefly. We had perfect weather the entire time, which was great since we drove from York, PA all the way to the Chicago, IL region--about 850 miles one way. Over the weekend, we stayed with one of my sisters and then my dad. We stopped in IN to see my mom on the way back and got home late last night.

My aunt saved me all her old photo albums and some other nice mementos. I've been working on family genealogy recently, so those nearly 100 year old photos are quite the treasures. Unfortunately, nearly all of them are also unlabeled, so I'll have to upload them and send them to her remaining cousin to see if we can ID people before we lose all that family knowledge. A few are labeled, at least, so I can ID some of the folks and work my way from there.

My sister had been given an old family Bible by another grandma's cousin, and she decided to pass it to me since I've been taking over the family genealogy. Imagine my surprise when I opened it up and discovered it was 150 years old and had some equally old family photos and genealogical information tucked inside! I was in 7th heaven at that.

While I was visiting with family, I had the chance to 'pick their brains' about many older family members who are now gone--my parents and aunt are the last members of our family still alive and we have very few cousins, so I've been asking as much as I possibly can now! Some of their stories are hilarious, too, like my dad's description of his high school buddies' version of chess--you play a poker hand for chess pieces and then play with the pieces you get--sometimes one guy would have only a rook and a pawn while the other guy had nearly a full set at the start of the game. Or blowing the toll booths and making the alarms go off. I died laughing at the antics.

Thank you all for the love and concern shown to my family and me! :)

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Morigana
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Replied On: 07/22/2014 at 05:19 PM PDT

/hug

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