The Tower Of Neborhest
By: Vampiresbane
Alarin, Blockhead, Thadok, and Vampiresbane sat there at the old and worn tavern, scratching their chins, slightly drunk off the new type of Dwarven ale Blockhead had brought that day to share (well share is a friendly word for drinking most of it and letting the rest of the adventurers embibe a tad).
As usual, most were boasting of their deeds long past.
"I once killed two vampires with a single stake thrust. Poor bastards were hugging!" boasted Vampiresbane.
"Look! I told you dem Empire folk like to kill vampire children," added Thadok.
"I take offense to that, I prefer the term 'slow-roasted' thank you," mentioned Alarin.
"That's nothin'. I've killed five ghouls in one ax swing with Betty," Thadok cheered while stroking his favorite two-handed ax.
Blockhead, about to pass out...ehem, he's looking at me (the author) funny...*erases last line*
Blockhead, even after downing great kegs of his own perfectly brewed ale, stood up, fairly disgusted with such paltry boasts and proclaimed, "Alright you all greenskin, quiverin folk. I know more long ear pansies that have done killin and maiming more den dat and that was AFTER they had their nails and hair done! We need an adventure and right soon! My ales running dry anyways."
The others nodded in agreement, but Alarin, probably more intelligent than the...*notices Thadok starring at him intently while sharpening his ax*
*Erases last two lines*
The other nodded in agreement, but Alarin, who had had less to drink that day, queried, "Um, but where to go? I personally have grown tired of burning Greenskins and Dark Elves to a crisp. We need something new."
"I wanna kick some vampire butt. We gots to improve Vampiresbane record. Two vampires? Me aunts has better boasts then that sissy rant," suggested Thadok.
Vampiresbane, who had truly never killed more than two vampir....*notices Vampiresbane slowly and not so subtlety place his large and slightly red-tinged warhammer onto the table and then aggressively nod the author's way*
*Erase erase erase*
Vampiresbane, who obviously had killed legions of vampires, why else the name?, was taken aback at this, "Surely you joke that I've only killed two vampires, but it's still not a bad idea. I always like adding more notches to my warhammer."
And so it was decided, and the small group decided to go to a haunted tower nearby that had been rumored of late to inhabit, not just shades and ghouls, but zombies of fallen warriors. No one really knew who ruled the top, but chances are, as with other locations like this, a tomb lord, a vampire count ruled this tower, this tower of Neborhest.
The group, still slightly inebriated, found themselves stalled getting inside by a rather large group of ghouls, possibly a hundred or so. Thadok, along with Alarin help, quickly dispatched these undead peons, and the band walked inside the tower, trying to shake off any remaining hangovers, and saw to their dismay, their path to the top of the tower, once again blocked. This time by a series of small altars surrounded by skeletons and a few raised former heros, back from the dead to do evil's bidding.
"Grumbling ninnies and swill drinking gobbos. I need some ale already. Hurry it up lads," mentioned Blockhead.
Invigorated by such a inspiring speech by Blockhead (and yes I am serious and am not being sarcastic in any shape or form), the group fiercely smashed all the altars and remaining skeletons and zombies and proceeded to walk up the many flights of stairs.
At the top of the tower, they were met with the glare of thousands years of death, a murder's gaze of millions long gone and some now eternal slaves, the vampire lord of the Tower of Nebhorhest.
"Welcome adventurers and thank you for coming. I've needed some new refreshments; you can only drink swamp toad juice for so long before your complexion loses all color."
"Oh that does it, this blood sucker has to die, even long ears be ashamed of his fashion sense!" roared Blockhead.
Blockhead, with shield and weapon in hand, rushed the lord, quickly taking him by surprise and attracting all attention with threats like,
"Your mother was a undead cockroach."
and
"I've seen whiter complexion on a dwarven couples' sheets. You call yourself undead?"
and
"Call yourself a former manling? You can't even drink a man's drink, a BEAHR!"
"Good one Blockhead. I need to work on my vampire taunts I see," added Vampiresbane, who promptly chided the vampire with, "You call that sucking blood? I seen better blood sucking from a Marsh of Madness mosquito."
Alarin, quickly getting bored to tears with all of this, decided enough was enough and just fried the vampire lord.
Wait. I didn't want that to happen. You're messing up my story Alarin (author).
"He was a level 23 lord. I'm level 40 and so is Blockhead. Are you kidding me? Vampiresbane was bored and wanted to kill zombies and Blockhead decided to show Vampiresbane what a hard lord was like. I can't believe this. That's it, you're done here." *Starts charging a fireball and then shoots it the author's way.*
-Due to unforeseen circumstances, this story has been rewritten at large expense and in a completely different format.-
Hey Vamp, wha you doin in Marsh?-Block
Killin 1000 zombies for a bestial token, but damn this hero at the end of the pq hits for 2k.-Vamp
that's nothin. we should do the harder pq there. that lord hits like a truck.-Block
/a Guys wanna kill a vamp.
/a a vamp? where?
*Group takes about 15 minutes screwing around.*
*Group kills 125 ghouls, then 3 altars, gets to lord.*
*Lord dies fairly easy with no real trouble.*
Huh, that was easy. wanna do it again for the slayer?-Block